From Transaction to Personal Vow: The Evolution of Marriage Traditions
Let’s begin by delving into marriage from a historical perspective. It may be hard to swallow, but for women, marriage was rarely a matter of personal choice or romantic love. In many ancient and medieval cultures, marriage was primarily a strategic alliance between families—a means of securing social status, consolidating wealth, or forging political connections. Daughters were often viewed as assets to be married off in arrangements orchestrated by their parents.
A significant component of these unions was the dowry: a transfer of parental property, gifts, or money to the husband or his family upon marriage. This practice underscored the transactional nature of the arrangement, where a bride’s value was often explicitly tied to her family’s financial standing. Women typically had little to no say in who they would marry and were often wed at a very young age, sometimes to much older men.
The takeaway, however, was a safer, committed, and stronger family bond under a closely monitored system. Any arising issues were swiftly handled by both families.
A unique tradition governed disputes: in the event of a complaint from the wife, her family was expected to scold her in the presence of both families, even if she was right. In response, the husband’s family would immediately step in, accept the blame, and scold him instead. The wife’s family would then intervene on his behalf, asking his family to cease the scolding, in the spirit that the husband has realized his mistake. This process was reciprocated if the husband initiated a complaint.
Another aspect of the old system was that of “visits.” If a wife visited her in-laws, she was expected to perform traditional female chores like cooking and washing. The husband, conversely, was expected to contribute in a “male-like” fashion, when visiting his in-laws. The couple’s domestic problems were jointly tackled by both families, who worked concertedly to ensure that the marriage survived.
This was relatively easy because these were “close-knit” communities where family character, honor, economic stability, and respect were key factors in selecting a bride or accepting a proposal from a suitor.
The Shift to Modern Marriage
In contemporary society, the concept of marriage has undergone a profound transformation. The vast majority of cultures today emphasize love and mutual consent as the foundation of a marital union. While arranged marriages still occur, the prevailing global tradition is for individuals to choose their own partners. This shift reflects broader societal changes, including the recognition of individual rights and the changing roles of women.
Modern weddings are often a blend of age-old customs and personalized elements. Traditions such as the exchange of rings, wearing a special bridal garment, and celebrating with a feast remain central to many ceremonies. The wedding ring, originating in ancient Rome, is a potent symbol of eternal commitment, while the white wedding dress, popularized in the 19th century, remains a common choice in Western cultures to symbolize purity and joy. Today, however, couples frequently adapt these traditions to reflect their unique personalities and love stories.
Ultimately, the most significant evolution is the movement away from marriage as a primarily economic or political contract to a personal and emotional commitment. While ceremonies honor a rich history, the core of the institution has fundamentally changed. The predominant tradition today is one that celebrates a couple’s love and their autonomous decision to build a life together—a stark contrast to historical norms. Even in traditionalist cultures among the Fulani and Mandingos, things have shifted towards modernity, often to the disapproval of the “old guard.”
A Dear Price to Pay
However, this significant shift comes at a cost. With the compromise or absolute absence of age-old standards of fidelity and family monitoring, individuals now have a free hand in making what should be a lifelong choice.
Unfortunately, the absence of the “old guard” and the prominence of new-age methodologies have unraveled a flurry of broken hopes, hearts, and homes. Worse still, people (especially women, who are most vulnerable) are left exposed to trial-and-error in relationships. Ironically, the very “liberalists” who decried the old practice of early marriage now oversee a culture where young women are exposed to rampant and random sex at an early age.
In Maryland County, for example, the “family planning” and pregnancy prevention is now given to any girl at puberty and or who receives her monthly period. Is not this a license to have random and multiple sex partners?
Performance Enhancement Drugs and Herbs
Is it any surprise, then, that men, as young as 21, are turning to performance enhancement drugs and herbs? Is it any wonder why there is a sudden “consciousness” for herbs and other natural remedies that boost male sexual potency?
Sadly, the “liberalists” have little or no commitment to facing this reality: today’s young women reach an alarming body count before the age of 20. Experts will attest to this. In times of old, our people might not have had modern technology, but they were definitely not stupid. They knew that promiscuity in a female has a far more devastating effect than in a male. Why do you think adulterous women were executed? This does not sound good, not even to me, but they were aware of the consequences of sexual promiscuity and prostitution – this “epidemic of solicitation.” A higher body count, the argument follows, equates to higher sexual endurance, and the fact is that natural men simply cannot keep up.
A Public Health Issue
This situation is a cause for concern. Imagine the burden on our already struggling healthcare system, the economic hardship many Liberians face, and the stress on a man who works all day only to face the “second shift” at night.
Growing reports of seizures and deaths in young men trying new concoctions and portions, as well as over-the-counter drugs, are alarming. Breweries and supplement companies now focus on these performance enhancers, many promising “instant action” and long-lasting effects. Why would a man want to defy nature by enduring physically demanding nightly encounters— to what end?
Conclusion
Interestingly, many close-knit communities still exist today. Unfortunately, modern liberalism has branded many practices of such societies as negative or unacceptable. Some aspects of those societies may require review, but to place a blanket condemnation over all their traditional practices is also unacceptable to traditionalists.
It is now high time for Liberia and Africa to begin merging these two systems to find a workable common ground before it is too late.